2 weeks into an accidental Sertraline withdrawal, I’m anxiety-laden and highly emotional. Still persisting though, like that rash you should have seen the GP about like 4 months ago. I’m one of those people who are still locked down even though lockdown officially ended a long time ago. The brain is a weird and wonderful … Continue reading SING-SONG: A self-care Saturday gone right
The weeks before playing a gig are filled with crippling stomach cramps, tight muscles, fitful sleep, eating disturbances, panic attacks, profuse sweating, surges of adrenaline and those occasional moments of serenity that are gone as soon as I question my right to feel anything resembling calmness. Time and time again, it hits me. I call … Continue reading Pre-gig, full-body shutdown mode: ACTIVATED
Before I go to sleep, I stare at the ceiling. I want to calm down, but my mind is up, up, up. I’ve got the itch. I’m manic with adrenaline. Pregnant with possibility. Sleep brings me no solace: the visions go with me, as real as the beat of my heart, and I wake up … Continue reading LIFE UPDATE: Recent Times
I’d always envisioned being unemployed as a sign of personal failure. I’d always considered overworking to be a sign of professionalism and necessity. I genuinely once thought that taking time to “do nothing” was a lazy cop-out for people without stamina. How criminally wrong I was.
After two months of unemployment, I am pleased to say I will shortly be starting at a new job! This has been no easy feat, by any stretch. I’ve been actively looking for work for almost a year now, competing against the masses of other unemployed folk and the unique obstacles presented by the COVID-19 … Continue reading OPINION: How To Deal With Unemployment Woes
Been a big girl this week, leaving the house more, smashing interviews, venturing out to unfamiliar lands on trains and reconnecting with people I haven’t seen in ages. I honestly couldn’t be more chuffed with me sen🙈🎉 Just a note: stubborn anxieties and agoraphobia are NOT life sentences, as I have learned recently. They’re challenging and … Continue reading LIFE UPDATE: Pushing through the limits of mental health
On 7th May, 2 years ago, I handed in my Masters thesis. I was super stoked and relieved, plus excited to crack on with trying to function like a proper human being again. What actually happened was that I had 4 days of relative chill before the biggest mental breakdown of my entire life, in … Continue reading 2 years on: the Great Depression
(In response to an article on The Guardian by Richard Partington) Times are hard! You definitely need resilience to find basic employment these days. Plus, if you’re wanting to climb the ladder towards your dream career, which may be more industry-specific, you’re probably not going to get much benefit from generic advice at the jobcentre. … Continue reading LIFE UPDATE: The trials and tribulations of the perpetual job search
Alas, we have reached the end of another life chapter. A long-awaited verdict came in yesterday morning and I can now announce that I am now unemployed. The finality of this decision is just starting to sink in, twenty-four hours later…
I haven’t written anything in a while. My mental health hasn’t been great. I’ve definitely felt a significant shift in mood and anxiety levels over the last lockdown and I don’t think I’m alone on that front. The novelty of lockdown has finally worn out for the majority of people, who have paused their lives … Continue reading Lockdown #3: The End of the Tunnel?
The world is a very weird place at the moment and I think it’s justifiable that we humans feel out-of-sync and a little tested by our current circumstances. Like countless others, navigating the new territory of a global pandemic and trying to keep mentally afloat, I have generally tried to be a little kinder to myself even when I get unfavourable blips of madness or sadness.
This woman is unashamedly herself from the outset: sex-positive, political, intelligent, hilarious and surprisingly very vulnerable, opening up about the kind of experiences we all have as young women, but very often fail to articulate.
If you don’t know very much about mental health, be an ally and educate yourself. It will benefit you and everyone around you. For real💜🙏🏾
The nicest thing about this video was his complete transparency as a public figure, his very ‘human’ response to the trials of a troubling time. It helps to break the facade of ‘the grass is greener’ and shows that even those who appear to be doing well can be struggling.
The problem is more likely to be with me than it is with the spiritual practice of reflection and setting manageable goals for the year ahead, so, with that in mind, I’ve decided to give it another go, if only to get my affairs in order and truly gain some closure from what can only be described as the never-ending shit-show that was 2020.
If you’re reading this, you’re at the cusp of 2021, which means you’ve survived the bullshit-packed year that has been 2020, despite all the challenging times that had you questioning whether you would get through.
If you look strong, you can feel strong. I think of it as a form of method-acting and for the most part, it does the trick.
World Mental Health Day. Every day is mental health day, man. Thinking back, I was an absolute write-off last year. Honestly. Couldn’t perceive the idea of getting through a day, nevermind looking beyond that. I’ve had anxiety for as long as I can remember and experiences with depression for most of my life. You would … Continue reading World Mental Health Day 2020
So pleased to have received confirmation from Bradford College to say I’ve passed the course I undertook last year (“Certificate in Awareness of Mental Health Problems”). This qualification is very significant because a year ago, I was severely agoraphobic, struggling to eat, sleep and generally function as a human in any capacity. With the unwavering … Continue reading LIFE UPDATE: I passed!
A whole year on from the breakdown of a lifetime (the Great Depression) and I’m still dealing with night sweats/terrors, agoraphobia, social anxiety and spontaneously bursting into tears when I’m overwhelmed (often). The pandemic has only amplified the negatives: I’ve found myself feeling like I’m regressing back to my worst form, and I’ve been neglecting … Continue reading LIFE UPDATE: the woes of roller-coaster mental health
Last year’s agoraphobia was a consequence of self-imposed exile, whilst this year’s isolation is a consequence of a global pandemic. They both involve staying at home and rarely leaving the house, as well as fear, but there are crucial differences between the two: the former was a period of time in which I was a prisoner in my own head, never mind my house.
I have exciting news: I’ve had my second foray being featured on an online blog! Many thanks to Head Talks for providing me with the platform for some writing on my journey with grief. This is a short piece, a very condensed snippet of a much longer piece I wrote during an introspective period (the … Continue reading New contributor blog post on Head Talks!
Mental health relapse? Medication withdrawal? Effects of prolonged social isolation? Sertraline sorrow? Pining for personal space? Random melancholy spell? All of the above? No idea, mate. No idea. Not feeling well in myself the last few weeks and I think I’ll be taking some time to work on that before the shit really hits the … Continue reading Life update: Sertraline Sorrow
Apart from the increasing odds of full-blown alcoholism, I think we’re faring well.
This might be a period of time invaluable for many folk who need some space to partake in self-care and retract from the bustling pandemonium of “work-eat-sleep-repeat”. Perspective is important and I think we’d all fare better, myself included, if we were to be thankful at this time of crisis for the incredible things we have.
At long last, I am performing my humanness with some success again- I couldn’t have envisioned this at all a few months ago, so I’ll accept the train woes, arguments with loved ones, giggles with my best mates on video calls and my worsening glasses prescription.
Against all odds, I started a new job in November. It was significant and ultra scary after a year of unemployment, plus it had only been a few months since the final end of my master’s course. I was without direction and honestly lacking a sense of my own identity, with everything having changed so … Continue reading 2020 vision: a reflection of what’s been and a speculation as to what will come
My favourite point about her ideology is that she argues strongly for the notion that “giving fucks” is not synonymous with being an asshole. In fact, when practiced appropriately, it’s the exact opposite. Being conscientious of what you want and assigning some conviction to it is empowering.
I look back at 2019 as the year that part of me died. I also look at 2019 as the year that part of me was allowed to be reborn.
I have been writing myself letters and memos to tack around the room so that whenever I catch a glimpse of the font in my peripherals, I’ll be absorbing good intentions and vibes. I’ve done this in the past and then ceremoniously removed the pages as I’ve progressed with life and overcome obstacles. I am … Continue reading New Beginnings, Healthy Practices
The problem is: vulnerability has become synonymous with weakness. Opportunities for dialogue and restoration have been dismissed in favour of anger and denial because people aren’t emotionally mature enough to accept the responsibility of their own actions.
Mental illness doesn’t discriminate. That’s why it’s so important that we cultivate an open dialogue about mental health.
I am writing because it is the only thing I know how to do and my theory is that by documenting what I am experiencing, I can make sense of what’s happening and forever remember this post-graduate slump as being exactly and only that.
You’ve been through this dark spell before and you’ve come out of it, therefore it’s viable that you can do it again. Don’t dwell on the past but for perspective’s sake, just think back to the shit-storms you’ve waded through and the progress you’ve made before. No matter how low you feel, remember that there’s another way out. … Continue reading New Rules : Mantras on how to survive the emergence of the Great Depression
Winter is coming. And so is the onslaught of deadlines that mark the last year of university. I have found myself thinking almost daily about the prospect of life after this chapter is (hopefully) completed. I can envision cool events like my friends’ weddings or results days for my cousins who I picture growing up … Continue reading Where to, next?
The self motivational post-it notes I tacked onto the wall curl up at the edges: my radiators are on full blast and I’m in my bedroom fortress. I am shaking all over- as if picking up wavelengths from another planet. This has probably been ongoing all day, but I’m only aware now because I am … Continue reading Pip VS Panic Attack
The bus journey to work and back isn’t just a practicality- it offers me ample time to examine humans of all shapes, dialects and sizes. On some elusive yet worthy days, I share magical moments with strangers I know I’ll probably never see again. Those moments are enough to outweigh the increasing fare costs, harassment … Continue reading (Untitled until I get my thoughts together)