OPINION: Time’s Up, 3 years on

Just a friendly reminder that misogyny, sexual assault, gaslighting and gender inequity continue to be prominent issues in 2020, perhaps even moreso in the domestic environment because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

I am an ally of the silenced. I spent years in silence, myself.

I have spent my life working through various traumas caused by (predominantly) men who don’t know how to respect women. The damage doesn’t disappear. Survivors have to equip themselves with the tools to healthily manage their trauma, because otherwise, they wouldn’t be able to carry on with their lives at all. It’s not fair and it sucks majorly, with the owness always bestowed upon the person who has had to endure the fuckery as opposed to the person who perpetrates it.

I remember reading Ellen Page’s powerful statement 3 years ago, when the world was wrapped up in Weinstein-Gate and the #MeToo movement. I’ve re-read it today and it’s just as powerful.

Be an ally, where you can. Challenge toxic culture, where it’s safe to do so. Let’s stomp this patriarchal fuckery out.

“Let’s remember the epidemic of violence against women in our society disproportionately affects low income women, particularly women of color, trans and queer women and indigenous women, who are silenced by their economic circumstances and profound mistrust of a justice system that acquits the guilty in the face of overwhelming evidence and continues to oppress people of color. I have the means to hire security if I feel threatened. I have the wealth and insurance to receive mental health care. I have the privilege of having a platform that enables me to write this and have it published, while the most marginalized do not have access to such resources. The reality is, women of color, trans and queer and indigenous women have been leading this fight for decades (forever actually). Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, Winona LaDuke, Miss Major, Audre Lorde, bell hooks, to name a few. Misty Upham fought tirelessly to end violence against indigenous women, domestic workers and undocumented women. Misty was found dead at the bottom of a cliff three years ago. Her father, Charles Upham, just made a Facebook post saying she was raped at a party by a Miramax executive. The most marginalized have been left behind. As a cis, white lesbian, I have benefited and have the privileges I have, because of these extraordinary and courageous individuals who have led the way and risked their lives while doing so. White supremacy continues to silence people of color, while I have the rights I have because of these leaders. They are who we should be listening to and learning from.

What are we afraid to say and why can’t we say it? Women, particularly the most marginalized, are silenced, while powerful abusers can scream as loudly as they want, lie as much as they want and continue to profit through it all.”

To see Ellen Page’s original statement, posted 3 years ago, please click here.

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