I see this, agree with this (as a mere spectator to the struggle that black friends face) and also feel this is very applicable to my experience as a brown person, too.
Imagine how rich I’d be if I collected a pound for every time I’ve heard, “you’re white inside, though” or “you’re pretty for an Asian bird”. Loaded, mate. I’d be loaded.
Over the years, I’ve gone from taking this as some sort of compliment, to complacently responding with an insulted silence to just flat-out challenging people when they make these kinds of comments. Maybe out of ignorance, maybe out of malice. It doesn’t matter. What a backhanded bitchslap!
Compliments shouldn’t be confined to racial identity. In actuality, I’d settle for a simple “you’re intelligent” or “you’re pretty”. Honestly, if you like my way of articulating things or my melanin glow-up, just say that. I’m not out here performing any whiteness, I’m just living in my skin as organically as I can! And that’s on periodt 😤