LIFE UPDATE: the woes of roller-coaster mental health

A whole year on from the breakdown of a lifetime (the Great Depression) and I’m still dealing with night sweats/terrors, agoraphobia, social anxiety and spontaneously bursting into tears when I’m overwhelmed (often). The pandemic has only amplified the negatives: I’ve found myself feeling like I’m regressing back to my worst form, and I’ve been neglecting my self-care routine as punishment🙃☠️

Over this last week, I’ve found my relationship with food changing again and also noticed that my stress-related IBS has flared up, which I think has been quite triggering.

I’ve been brutal to myself and had a lot of intense, dark thoughts (they descend pretty quickly when I’m “down”) and all I know is that this has to stop! I need to listen to my body/brain and make serious changes for the sake of my mental and physical health💪🏽🙏🏾

Change #1: See friends more often (including those Latvians and honorary Canadians abroad, via video call).

I’ve seen my friends maybe 2-3 times over the last year, and I think life has genuinely been so much tougher because of this. I’ve lived with these ride or dies and experienced the weirdest of adventures with them, so being away from them has been challenging…

I am super stoked with myself for making the journey out of the house yesterday, despite all the tremors and general breathlessness. I am so grateful for Tom, who is the ultimate hypebeast and has supported me, as well as pushed me, to tackle this hurdle for what it is. Merely a hurdle!

Had such an awesome time with old friends and new friends, and felt at ease in a way that was totally unprecedented given the state I’ve been in over the last few days. I love you guys and can’t thank you enough for all your support and kindness, especially since I’ve been off the grid for so long. Here’s to seeing you way more and for better times ahead💜

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