Northern lass giving her hot take take on mental health, books, films and the big bad world she lives in.
New Rules : Mantras on how to survive the emergence of the Great Depression
You’ve been through this dark spell before and you’ve come out of it, therefore it’s viable that you can do it again. Don’t dwell on the past but for perspective’s sake, just think back to the shit-storms you’ve waded through and the progress you’ve made before.
No matter how low you feel, remember that there’s another way out. Inevitably what goes up, must come down. It sucks to feel like this but you’re going to come out on top eventually.
You can’t take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first- you know what it’s like to burn yourself out first-hand, so avoid getting to burnout by doing the things you know will make you feel better. It might feel stupid to prioritise a bath when you’re stressed as fuck but you know categorically that it makes you feel more relaxed, so do it anyway.
Life is far too short and you of all people should fucking know it. When you start to feel claustrophobic as if life is boxing you in, just think of Fulda’s face that day when we had to break the news to him and the sheer devastation the whole family went through. Every day has the potential to be special. It can turn out however the fuck you like, dependant on your attitude. So, where applicable, fix your fucking attitude.
No matter how much you feel like a piece of actual shit, stuck on this floating rock hurtling through space, you have to remember how much you have to offer. You have influenced people for the better, you have offered your shoulder to many crying heads, you’ve offered your bed to stray people, you’ve made people laugh when they’ve forgotten what their own laugh sounds like and most importantly, you’ve even made persistent effort with impenetrable cunts that have treated you badly and that in itself deserves some sort of accolade.
Change your language. The way you talk and think about everything, most importantly yourself, frames the way that you feel. It’s such a small yet significant part of your everyday routine. Only you can change that. Think of how you want Dobby to see herself, or Mya, or any of the kids. Would you want them stood in front of a mirror, talking to themselves the way you talk to yourself? Fuck no. So stop it. Your toxicity in language leaks into everything else. Stop saying ‘I can’t’ and change it into ‘I can’, or instead of focusing on ‘what ifs’ as if they are all inherently negative, change them into positive ‘what if’s’. For example, instead of ‘what if I can’t find a job after my master’s?’, revise it to, ‘what if there’s an abundance of job opportunities after my master’s?’. Might seem overly positive and a bit alien but deep down inside you’re a positive person.
Following on from positive person… Positive energy draws positive energy. Put out what you want- make good connections with people who also generate positivity as well as consume it. You are not a support tank for all the vampires of the world and you are not a perpetual fucking fountain of sun-rays, however, you are a positive person who extends positivity and kindness as a general rule to all people.
Know your worth. You stayed single for 3 years because you didn’t want an artificial commitment and you were recovering from a degrading and abusive relationship. You stuck to your guns despite all the other possibilities. Now you’re in a relationship, that doesn’t change. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to have good things. You deserve to feel special. You deserve effort. If you’re not happy, address it. Change it. If it can’t be changed, escape it.